I wish I was special. You're so fu*king special.

This is the lyrics to the song you're probably listening to right now.
except the one I put on my playlist is the choir version which was used in "the social network"

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice, when I'm not around

You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

This is such a beautiful song.

It truly is.

This is the story of my life summed up into one song.

I first listened to this song in  2009.

FLy Fm did a the "flirty@9:30" segment. (where people confess their love to other people)

A guy named Eric had a crush on a girl in his class for over 3 years.

He wanted to express his love to her live on the radio.

She rejected him while the whole nation was listening.

After the segment finished, the Dj played this song.

HOW SAD IS THAT?

I reevaluated my life while listening to this song

Its different. 

It moves you.

well, atleast it moves me.

unless you rather listen to something like:

"That magic in your pants is making me blush"

high at Jaya Grocer

What a day!
I went to school today to do some librarian stuff.
we ( Atiyah, Sarah, Qistina and me) lifted 4 book shelves from the library to Block B.
We nearly died.

After that, we walked to secret recipe with Natasha and Fatin.
They were also at school because of the form 1 orientation.
then Syaheerah and Mimi joined us.

there was this guy at secret recipe......he was so damn adorable.
I couldn't....stop...staring...

ok. moving on,

after eating at Secret recipe, we went to Jaya Grocer.
why did we go to a grocery store?
I don't know.

Last-last tinggal me, Sarah and Atiyah.

We walked ALL around Jaya Grocer.
laughing at brand names like Cote Do'r and Mo Far Kor.
we got tired so we left the store after 20 minutes buying nothing but a box of Jell-o.

Atiyah wanted to buy the mango juice at Bonjour cafe which she said was "sedap gila"
but at the same time she couldn't get over the colour of it "wey, serious nampak macam kencing"

well, the juice made us high and we played on that  weird escalator near the entrance (it was those escalators like the ones at TESCO) which weren't moving.
we were half way up the escalator.
then atiyah looked back and said "JAUHNYA KITORANG!"

Distance is the best policy.

1.This is a really random post that I wrote about a year ago but didn't publish.
2.*The names applied are not related to the living or deceased.

If you like someone, stay as FAR away from them as possible.

Ignore him. act like he doesn't exist.

and pray that you get over this crush.

Because crushes are for weak people who cannot control their minds.

the closer you get, the more the pain.

 for example, Atiyah* likes a guy named Iskandar*.

She talks to Iskandar and gets friendly.

unfortunately, Iskandar likes Fatin*.

Atiyah was heart broken. She thought that there was at least a speck of 

something going on between them.

you see, if Atiyah hadn't talked to him, and gotten her hopes up,

she wouldn't have got cut deeply.

Distance is the best policy.

2.The rubber band theory.

I witnessed this happen myself.

So, at that time the Marsians were suppose to gather at the back part of the tapak perhimpunan.

We were all waiting for the teacher to come so everyone was talking.

I saw this guy that I knew. We'll call him Fariz.

So, Fariz was hitting on this girl (we'll call her Syaheerah)

and all the time while being hit on, Syaheerah was like "eeeeh. tak yah lah!jangan lah kacau"

so, after kacau-ing Syaheerah for a good 15 minutes, he gave up and talked to his buddies.

with his back facing Syaheerah.

Then I looked over at Syaheerah.

She was looking over at Fariz and couldn't get her eyes off of him.

she was desperately trying to get Fariz's attention.

laughing loudly while looking at him at the corner of her eyes.
while her eyes were screaming out "pandanglah aku! kacaulah aku lagi!"

voila!, The rubber band theory

The application of pressure and knowing when to release it to get  chicks.
male applies pressure, male releases pressure = female applies pressure.

I really witnessed this myself.

It was quite fascinating to watch, really.

kinda like watching two monkeys in the wild. 

but of course as usual, the male was smarter.

Why I love Sabah

kuih cincin

These are NOT durians. They have no smell, have a thorny-rubbery surface and are really sweet.

buah lemak manis.

 not cempedak. forgot the name. kinda tasted like soursop to me.

The sea:
 we went to Pulau Manukan and Pulau Sapi.

This is our tour guide, Henry.

3.The diverse cultures. 

In Kudat, there was literally a mosque next to a Buddhist temple. 

not to mention a humongous church. everything about the people there was beautiful.

 4.The mountains:
experience peace and tranquility among the rolling hills

 The highest point of Malaysia.

Wild flower at the mountain side

Henry made these :D

A sand-turtle I built 

5. My name up in billboards.



6.The randomness of life.

cabbage

12/12/12

why, would you look at the date!

12/12/12.

This is really, the last beautiful date ever in the history if evers.

there will be no 13/13/13 or 14/14/14. ( you get my point..)

let's all do something legendary to make this date remember-able!

In a couple of hours, we'll be flying to Sabah.

I can't wait!

well, today we (consisting of me, Balqees, Syafiqah and mum) had  a dinner of fish and chips with a guest.

It was Syafiqah's boyfriend.

what an interesting night!

mum really is the type that goes with everything.

If anyone needs impressing, its abah.

but abah just had chemo today and was feeling rather tired, so he ate his dinner in bed.

Oh, by the way, today we did some improvements to our house.

nanti masa tuisyen, korang datanglah tengok what the differences are!

well, 

goodnight!, sleep tight!

I'll be watching you through your window!

Sweet 16

Its my birthday!
hooray!
too bad we'll all be dead in 11 days.

kidding.
I'm tired.
goodnight.

football and sloppy joes.

Eating Sloppy joe's while watching AFF Suzuki cup Singapore vs Philippines with my family.

Life doesn't get better than that.

I went into everyone's room and said 

"hey, I'm cooking Sloppy joe's tonight."

and they were all like, "What's that?"

"I don't have time to explain"

*woosh! I disappeared into the kitchen*

( a place where women were born to be in. lol)

It was a big hit. everyone loved it.

I worked on trust exercises with Massa today.

I taught him that "you won't drown in puddles" and "shovels don't rise from the ground and attack you."

At DARC, there's a water trap.

a big ditched filled with murky water. (you can't judge how deep it is by sight)

and she goes in just FINE.

but puddles? 

she'll drown.

I also taught her to follow me.

I kept shouting "I AM YOUR LEADER!!"

"MASSA, FOLLOW ME!" 

she did. 

hmm. not bad.

I have the habit of singing when I'm cantering.

I kept singing "I'm never changing who I am"

from Imagine Dragon's "Its time"

I was trying to muffle out the song that was playing at the club (I suppose its DARC's anthem now) 

yup, you guessed it.

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE.

Where's the poop, Robin?!

Ever since I watched the episode where Robin was getting over Don,
I kept hearing Lily's voice echoing in my mind whenever I am in a situation that includes "poop"

"Where's the Poop, Robin?!"

Well, today I was gardening and I realised (or more like smelt) cat poop somewhere in the garden.
now, If you've ever been to my house, you would know just how "jungle-like" my garden is.
I've been so crazy about finding the hidden poop that I just can't sit still.

"Where's the poop, Robin?!"

I kept saying that line over and over again while looking for it.
(I hope Mr.Lew and his wife didn't hear me)

I can't... find it....

WHERE'S THE DAMN POOP, ROBIN?

everything indian!

We watched "The Life of Pi" yesterday.
It was really heartwarming.
It has a really deep message hidden in the story.
really, really deep inside the story.
even I had trouble finding the meaning of it all.

Overall, it was a really beautiful story combining faith and hope of a boy of different religions.
also, this movie shows just how beautiful the Indian culture is :)

I was really productive this morning.
My "anak dara" instincts came out somehow.
I woke up at 7.45 am, swept the porch, changed the cat litter, polished my boots, cleaned my room, made breakfast and cleaned the (mini) fish pond.

Also, tonight we're having an indian dinner.

Tandoori chicken
Mint chutney
Chapati

all home-made and prepared by me!
huehuehue


you know, Jaya Grocer is like, the heaven of all grocery stores.

I never thought I would ever find marshmallow fluff, buttermilk, buckwheat pasta, Jell-O or even doritos ever in Malaysia.

The unbleached, 100% organic wholemeal flour that I'm going to make Chapati with was also bought at Jaya grocer.

YAY, JAYA GROCER!

My neighbours just came back from India.
They've been gone for 2 weeks.

Me: mum, how come they get to travel all the time and we don't?
Mum: They don't have kids. Their money stays in their pockets.
Me: ouch. Hahahahahah

I'm turning 16 in 5 days.

UPDATE:

see, told you I'd make tandoori chicken :)
it wasn't as red as I wanted it to be but well, life's like that..

My chapati was really good, too!
:)

Balls!

I've wanted to try make cake pops for quite a while now.
This is my first attempt at making these.
For those who don't know what cake pops are,
where have you been?

except of course, mine didn't actually have lollipop sticks in them
so they're cake pops without the pops
meaning they're cake balls.
what?

(the surface is hard. It looks wet in the photos due to condensation)

I used Duncan Hines' Dark chocolate Fudge frosting in mine
and used hershey's semi-sweet chocolate chips as the crust.

I didn't eat any. I'm sure they're really good though!

Random photos

HaPpY SatUrDaY!!

oh....don't you just feel like giving people who type like that a smack across the face?

haha. here are some random photos I found on my computer:

Despite having accidently lost his glasses, I found a good use for my Harry figurine.

ACCIO FISH!

 This is where I spend most all of my time.
I'm trying to learn "tennesse" from the movie Pearl Harbor.
The score I found online was so.....not fun?
so I decided to stick to learning by ear.

 This is a note Sarah left in my bag (without me knowing)
I came home, found the note, laughed, showed it to my parents and stuck it on the wall next to my time table.
I love how you wrote angel in capital letters.

This is Katrina. short-cutted into "Mina".

Mum thought of the name because she was born in 2005,

which for those who didn't know, was when Hurricane Katrina happened.

When I first got her,

I looked down at her and thought, "you look dirty, like mud.. or clay."

clay...clay....

then I thought of that French piano player that my mum had a crush on when she was a teen,

Richard Clayderman.

hmmm....who else is from France?.....

MADELINE!

we love our bread, we love our butter BUT MOST OF ALL WE LOVE EACH OTHER!

I personally call her poop.

because she likes to poop

and she kinda looks like poop too.