What would you think of me now?

I was restraining myself from writing this, but whatever man.
well, there's this one guy.
He was the reason I wanted to change myself so much. (i'm talkin losing 25kg here)
He was the reason I did it. with god's will, of course.
and I had a dream about him last night. creepy, I know. Don't judge.

*************
I was working as a cashier at a department store.
I was thinking about him in my mind when Fatin who appeared out of nowhere said
"Hidayah, there he is!"
He caught my eyes, I caught his. The world stopped in those divine split seconds of which our eyes met.
I walked away from the area where he was (lol who's watching the cashier?)
And he followed me.
when the corners of his lips curved to smile at me, I felt the temperature rise and my heart felt warm.
He then came up to me.

At this point I woke up and was like DAMN IT. RESUME BRAIN, RESUME!
And surprisingly it did.

We talked as we walked around the department store.
We got matching water bottles. Suuuper romantic, i know..
At the cashier, I decided to change my bottle for some reason.
But when I came back, he was gone.
I felt my heart drop to the depths of despair and I chanted under my breath the familiar words I live with:
"so stupid, why would I even think that..?? Gosh, I'm such an idiot! Why even try? Dream on"
(lol, dream on)
When I walked outside, the sky was grey and the atmosphere was eerie.
There were soldiers and big black cars. Crowds of people waiting for their turn for their names to be called.
It looked like an evacuation of some sort.
I heard my name being called by a female officer, ready to go to wherever I was going.
I took one last glance around and saw him sitting at the corner.
That was the last time I saw him. I later found out I was on my way to Nagasaki.
**********
When I woke up I wasn't even interested in comprehending what it all meant.
I was just so happy I had a dream about him.

If you saw me,

what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud,
I never said thank you for that.
Now I'll never have a chance.

(^ I just rediscovered this song. It's the song that was playing when Austin Ames stopped the football game, ran up to the bleachers and kissed Sam. Then it rained over the drought awwh )