Anti-Depressants

So, I didn't get it,
I was told on Tuesday.
I was extremely depressed.
My mind kept rewinding to the scene where I was rejected.

I can't lie, I cried.
It didn't help with Eminem's song constantly repeating itself in my head:

"You better never let it go, you've only got one shot, Do NOT miss the chance to blow it. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime"

well Marshall, I freaking BLEW it.
which makes me so sad.
knowing that I could have done better,
But I didn't.

Sampai je at my friends, I lost it.
I cried hard.
well, not that hard.
lasted for about, 20 seconds.

Qistina gave me a tissue,
Fifi put her arms around me,
Syaheerah cracked a joke that made me laugh,
Sarah comforted me by making me think about those people suffering in wars-
which made me better, as I was crying about something stupid.

facing obstacles really makes you appreciate the people around you more :)

Pastu I went to merayu to Ust.Basri.
"Tolonglah, saya sanggup buat apa je. Ust bagilah saya seminggu"
It looked like he wanted to, but he couldn't.
See, if he did, he would have to give the others a chance too.

The conversation ended with:
"Janganlah marah Hidayah, takut saya tengok. Kamu telah buat yang terbaik tetapi, ini semua di tangan Allah. kamu tak ada rezeki. itu je"

The weird thing is, at that part, as me and fifi were leaving the bilik guru,
I felt relieved that he said "no"